My Enemy, My Brother
by Very
Summary: Takes place the night Peter Pettigew becomes a Death Eater. His thoughts, Memories, and the events leading up to his betrayel -- tear :'(


**Title:** My Enemy, My Brother   
  
**Author:** SteLLa6  
  
**Note:** The title My Enemy, My Brother has been used in several published novels. It is not of my own creation -- I didn't think it up. _Please don't sue me. I have no money anyway, I'm a teenager _  
  
** Summary:**Takes place the night Peter Pettigew becomes a Death Eater. _tear :'( _

_---------------------------------_

Lucius Malfoy's cold, drawn pointed face suddenly broke it's tight mask of indifference to form a thin smirk. However, instead of adding warmth to his cold demeanor, it only made him look more malicious. The cold light in his eyes, reflecting the wavering torches and candles that gave off an eerie gleam over the wooden tables, seemed to be at his normal level of maliciousness, but there was something lurking in their icy depths that let on to his true feelings -- impatience, and pride that he had managed to lure this worthy pawn into his trap. The cloak draped slightly over his forehead and his neck cast dark shadows across his handsome face, and he tipped his head slightly in acknowledgement as a shadowy figure approached. His pale hand was wrapped around a mug of firewiskey, and he drew it to his lips and took a deep sip as the burning liquid slithered down his throat. His eyes narrowed as he watched the approaching figure with ill concealed glee. "Pettigew," he welcomed coldly. "Nice of you to join me."   
  
Peter's small, watery eyes darted around the shadowy interior of the Hogs Head, lingering on the menacing looking bartender before slipping into the booth opposite Lucius, retreating his head further into his black cloak. "Lucius," he squeaked, then cleared his throat. His voice was suddenly deeper, but no less nervous, and his eyes continued to look anywhere but at Lucius. "I'm sorry I'm late. I got held up."   
  
"By what?" Lucius queried, his cold drawl sending shivers down Peter's spine. "Nothing to change your decision, I trust?"   
  
Peter immediately shook his head. "No, nothing of the sort." He assured him shakily. "I-i had a visit from P-potter."   
  
"Potter?" Malfoy echoed softly, his voice lethal. "Does he suspect?"   
  
Peter shook his head, but he fought hard to keep the mask of terror from seizing his face. "No. I know he doesn't."   
  
"You know this?" Lucius asked. "How?"   
  
"P-potter..." Peter paused, wondering why he didn't just call his friend James, but before he even poised the question, he knew the answer. Because as thinking of James as simply 'Potter' he could pretend it _wasn't_ James. That he _wasn't_ about to betray one of the only true friends he had ever had. That he _wasn't_ about to sell an innocent family to the most evil thing that had ever been to save his own skin. That he _wasn't_ about to turn his back on everything he had ever believed in, ever trusted. 'Potter' could just be another name -- not James. Oh, heavens, please let it not be James.   
  
Lucius arched a sculpted brow. "Yes?" he prompted impatiently. "What did Potter want?"   
  
Peter glanced away. "He came to tell me they are going into hiding."   
  
He said this without emotion, but as soon as the words left his lips, his heart rose up into his throat, and he felt as if he would throw up. What was he doing? What had he done already?! James had trusted him, James still trusted him! Lily -- Oh, dear Merlin, Lily! She _ believed_ in him! When everyone else turned their backs to the fumbling, chubby boy who couldn't perform a single spell without aid, Lily had welcomed him as a friend! _ As a friend!_   
  
"Hiding?" Lucius repeated suspiciously, then let out a soft mocking chuckle, though he didn't smile. "Where could they possibly hope to hide from the Dark Lord?"   
  
Peter flinched at the words 'Dark Lord', his soul and heart recoiling into his innermost self. His conscience was up in arms, screaming at him, but cold logic seized his mind and left his heart far behind.   
  
"The Fidelius Charm." Peter said softly. "They're using the Fidelius Charm."   
  
Lucius's eyes suddenly narrowed so much that his icy blue eyes were nothing but pinpricks. "Do you know who their Secret-Keeper is to be?"   
  
Peter let out a slow, draining breath, but shook his head, his voice very small. "No. They haven't decided yet."   
  
And it was true. When James had arrived at Peter's house, just before Peter was getting ready to leave to come meet Malfoy, he had said nothing as far as who a Secret Keeper would be. And in a way, Peter was glad -- so glad. As long as James didn't tell him, he would have nothing to report, no one to betray, no one to kill--  
  
But in his heart of hearts (_"If you still have a heart!" Peter's conscience screamed at him_) Peter had read the unspoken message in James's visit -- his oldest, and first friend was letting him know that Peter was being considered for secret keeper.   
  
He hoped as hard as he could that James chose Sirius -- or Lupin. Anyone would be better then him. If only he could give James, or Lily a sign---  
  
But even as his heart tried vainly to find a way to salvage the situation, his mind screamed that it was too late. He was in too far over his head, had already taken the first step -- to back out now would mean certain death, _death_.   
  
And he couldn't face that. Even in his bravest moments, Peter was never as brave as Sirius, or James, or even Remus. Never had he been as courageous, as great, as wonderful as his three bigger, more powerful friends. His friends. Oh, gosh, his friends -- Sirius, and Remus. What would they say? How would they react? Would they believe it? Or would they stick by his side to the bitter end, when the bitter truth was revealed?   
  
How would the world react when news of James and Lily's death reached Daily Prophet print? James had been a Quidditch Player, and later, an Auror. He was widely popular, and a symbol of resistance, a light in the darkness of Voldemort's shadow. He had already faced Voldemort three times, and escaped with his life in tact -- for that matter, so had Lily. But they would not be so lucky next time..  
  
When Lucius Malfoy had first approached Peter, he had scoffed at him, though it had been rather forced. He, Peter Pettigew, a Death Eater? Preposterous! Never! He was on the Light Side, he had the trust of Albus Dumbledore, of James and Lily Potter, of Sirius Black, Remus Lupin -- and countless others. He could never betray them! He told Lucius, rather proud of himself. Never!   
  
But Lucius was persistent, and his questions logical. _"What is to be gained,"_ Lucius would ask Peter time and time again, _"by resisting him? What are you accomplishing?_"   
  
Peter would brush him off harshly, and hurry away, but the next time he took an innocent stroll around the block to clear his mind, Lucius would just seem to magically walk out of the distance. _"He can make you powerful, you know,_ Lucius would tell him softly. "_More powerful then Potter and his gang. More powerful then you have ever dreamed. You know that, Peter, don't you? You know why James doesn't want you to go to the Dark Lord. Because he knows the Dark Lord will rise you up to be so powerful, even James Potter will not be able to conqueror you.._"   
  
"Go away, Lucius!" Peter had said coldly, but his words slithered through his thoughts for days later. Was this true? Was James worried Peter would become more powerful then he? Was this why James was so adamant against the Dark Arts? _ Was this the answer to all his questions?_   
  
The logical, intelligent part of his brain scoffed at the very idea. But the larger part, that part that always longed to be as big and terrific as James, that longed to be as smart as Remus, that wanted Sirius's mischievousness, but was never quite as good, never quite as quick, paused to consider this. Maybe it was true, he reasoned. Maybe, even, James was...**jealous**. Nah, couldn't be. Could it?   
  
Lucius took another slow sip of his whiskey, his eyes flickering to the watch on his rest. It read **TIME TO GO!** in blaring, bold red letters, and Lucius nodded impeccably. "Time to go," he said softly. Peter started. "What?" He asked quickly, snapping his head up from where his gaze was focused on the floor. "What did you say?"  
  
Lucius glanced at the bartender, who was wiping the counter off with a fairly dirty rag. "Put it on my tab," Lucius informed him, and the threatening looking man nodded. "Yes sir, Mr. Malfoy."   
  
Lucius stood up, adjusting his hood so it covered every inch of his thick, blonde hair. He started towards the door, then halted slowly when he realized Peter wasn't with him. He half turned, his piercing gaze locking on Peter's fidgety eyes. "Are you coming?" he asked seriously. Peter's eyes bore into his and Pettigew read the double meaning. There would be no backing out now. There would be no retreat. This was it.   
  
This was his defining moment. Would he turn his back on his friends? Would he sacrifice his life to save his brothers? For that was what they were -- brothers by heart, if not blood. They aided each other in their time of need, laughed in their time of joy, and mourned in their time of sadness. Would he really refuse to follow Lucius? Could he accept dying for his friends? Because he knew now, if he refused to follow Lucius, the next words Malfoy spoke would be _Avada Kedavra_. He knew it. Could feel it. Was he ready to face that? Was he ready to give up his brothers and save himself?   
  
"Pettigew." Lucius said, as Peter remained sitting. Peter saw Lucius's hands slip inside his robe, presumably to reach for his wand. "Are you coming?" Lucius repeated slowly.   
  
Could he turn his brothers into enemies? For once he sold Lily and James to Voldemort -- he flinched at the thought, though he knew it was true -- Sirius and Remus would come after him, they would come for revenge. They would come to show him that if Voldemort didn't kill him; they would. He knew it as surely as he knew James would never ever think of the fact that Peter would betray them. James was too loyal to think that way.  
  
"Peter," Lucius said sharply, his hand now slowly sliding out from his black robes, something clutched tightly in his hand. "Are you coming or not?!" Peter took one last, lingering look at Malfoy, the faces of his friends flashing before his eyes. He saw Sirius in tears, clutching a fallen James while Remus wept at Lily's side. He saw them as children, aboard the Hogwarts Express, saw them sneaking around as Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs. He saw them on their graduation day, arm in arm as they walked into the unknown future. He saw them at James's wedding, Lily beaming, Sirius laughing. He saw Remus's face when they confronted him about being a werewolf, saw the relief etched on his face as James assured him they would always be friends. He saw Sirius, holding a bag in one arm and his cloak in another on James's doorstep. He saw Remus patiently tutoring Peter in Defense Against the Dark Arts, going at it again and again until he finally succeeded. He saw all of them together at Harry's birth, arm in arm as they congratulated James on continuing on the line of Maruarders. He saw them all together, as friends, forever.   
  
And he slowly stood up from his chair, walking to Malfoy until he drew even with him. Then, in his minds eye, he took one last look at the good, loyal, loved person he once was, and said goodbye forever. "Let's go," he said evenly, his eyes locked with Malfoy. Lucius nodded, and leaned against the door, and together they walked into the dark, stormy night. The wind howled in their ears, but for Peter, it sounded mysteriously like the tortured screams of his friends as they realized what he had done, and he stopped listening. In fact, he realized, he had stopped listening a long time ago. 


End file.
